Two episodes in one means…two times the fun? Well, in this case, I'm afraid it only means, at best, a very small percentage of the fun. I really can't imagine why they decided to cram these two unrelated stories together. It might have been interesting to see a "treehouse of horror"-type anthology episode in which the show throws to the winds all ideas of canon, but neither of the mini-episodes here do much of anything to justify their existences.
In "Magica's Magic Mirror," she tricks Scrooge into accepting a mirror that can allegedly see into the future; it actually just connects with another mirror in her possession, and she's gonna use it to trick Scrooge into coughing up the dime. There's potential here, I guess, but the ways in which she tricks the ducks into thinking the mirror shows the future are pretty dumb and rely on a lot of convenient happenstance; the whole thing is pitched considerably dumber than the better sort of Ducktales episode. It does have this going for it: Magica transforming into a vulture is pretty cool-looking. And the ending--in which the kids use the mirror to stage a skit to unmask the plan, in which they smash a Magica doll--is pretty funny. But that's about it.
"Take Me Out of the Ballgame" has a premise that might seem funny, in theory--Duckworth has to coach the Woodchucks' baseball team--but the execution is pretty dismal. The first sign of trouble is when we learn that they're playing against--god help us--the Beagle Brats. Seriously, out of all the obscure characters from duck-comicdom, these were the ones you chose to revive, Ducktales people? Damn you! But the real dumb kicks in as Duckworth sabotages his own team in painfully moronic ways--he won't let them slide into base because that would smudge their uniforms; he won't let them steal bases. After he proved highly capable in his starring role last episode, there's no excuse for him to do dumb shit like this. But never fear! He comes around at the end, and, with the team behind by double-digits, he shows them how to win by playing "like golf," which somehow--the "how" remains unexplained, because that would've required a greater level of thought than anyone cared to put into this--allows them to always hit the Beagles' rigged baseball and score dozens of points at a clip. And then Doofus hits the winning run when Duckworth advises him to "pretend the ball is a great, gooey cream puff," and apparently we're supposed to believe that Doofus's love of sweets would cause him to want to get rid of this cream puff as expeditiously as possible. Really, really stupid stuff all 'round.
Stray Observations
-"Great Grandma Tragica"
-What the hell is the deal with the kid at the picnic dressed as Glomgold?
-Mozambique becomes "Nose'n'Beak." Right, then.
-Dammit, when I saw the bit with Doofus hitting the winning run, I suddenly KNEW I'd seen this episode before, but I have absolutely no memory of anything else about it. Memory is weird!
-The one moment of awesome in "Take Me Out of the Ballgame:" the kids are trash-talking before the game, and a murderous-looking Webby yells "let's make the little creeps cry for their mommies!" That is the Webby we need to see more of.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Ducktales, Season One, Episode Forty-Five: "Duckworth's Revolt"
[insert "Sir, Duckworth is revolting!" joke here]
Well, if we're judging episodes by their openings, whaddaya make of one in which anthropomorphic vegetables in a cornucopia-styled spaceship abduct an anthropomorphic elephant in a bathtub--a girl anthropomorphic elephant in a bathtub with the traditional pink bow in her hair--who seems surprisingly unfazed by this turn of events?
What you make is a pretty solid episode, albeit one just about as batty as the preceding would indicate. The kids accuse Duckworth of being like a SLAVE, so Scrooge fires him so he can go make his fortune. This is undeniably highly dubious, but things get better from there: the vegetable aliens, it turns out, are abducting people from all planets to work in their ship's garden, and Duckworth and HDL are next. Duckworth seems all subservient and stuff at first, but then he plans a revolt--though it's not entirely clear whether we're meant to buy his claim that he was just faking cowardice all along, or whether he actually grows a backbone. Regardless, it's neat to see him take a starring turn.
The episode is admirably committed to its "human vegetables" concept (the leaders are a broccoli stalk, a squash, and a clove of garlic), to the point that it's kind of hysterically--but appealingly--goofy (my favorite is a zucchini beating a drum as on a galley ship). It's easy for things like this to seem like they're straining for zaniness, but this one feels mostly natural.
My only real objection with the episode--but it's a substantial objection--is this: it flirts with asking questions about the morality of Duckworth's employment (what with the kids calling him a slave and all), but it never has the courage to follow through, instead contenting itself with assuring us that, well, he's not literally a slave, so there's no cause for concern. But that's so trivially true that if it's all you're gonna say, there was no point in bringing it up in the first place. Of course he's not literally forced to work for Scrooge--I mean, fucking duh. If you think this is an important question to address--and I think it is; there's always the somewhat uncomfortable feeling in the comics that, notwithstanding all his "earning it square" talk, he's exploiting his employees as much as he possibly can--you should bloody well address it. Otherwise, don't bother.
Still a good episode, however.
Stray Observations
-Hey, guess what: we're fifty percent of the way through the series! Well, okay, if you want to count the movie, then we actually won't get there until about fifteen minutes into episode forty-seven. But the point is, we've gone through fifty episodes. Kerpow!
-"Don't come back until you've discovered the joy, the enchantment, the sheer ecstasy of making big butts!" Er…yes. It's rarely remarked upon that Ducktales was in fact the inspiration for "Baby Got Back." Tell your friends!
-"And I thought elephants NEVER forgot!" "What's an elephant?" Funny commentary on the idea that just because an alien LOOKS like an earth creature, it would think of itself in the same way as one.
-"There comes a time when one must choose between trusting one's enemy or colliding with a gourdy green planet!" Words to live by.
-"Why don't we go to my quarters and have a chat over some nice, hot onion tea?" How would that not be cannibalism?
-Vacation Van Honk!
Well, if we're judging episodes by their openings, whaddaya make of one in which anthropomorphic vegetables in a cornucopia-styled spaceship abduct an anthropomorphic elephant in a bathtub--a girl anthropomorphic elephant in a bathtub with the traditional pink bow in her hair--who seems surprisingly unfazed by this turn of events?
What you make is a pretty solid episode, albeit one just about as batty as the preceding would indicate. The kids accuse Duckworth of being like a SLAVE, so Scrooge fires him so he can go make his fortune. This is undeniably highly dubious, but things get better from there: the vegetable aliens, it turns out, are abducting people from all planets to work in their ship's garden, and Duckworth and HDL are next. Duckworth seems all subservient and stuff at first, but then he plans a revolt--though it's not entirely clear whether we're meant to buy his claim that he was just faking cowardice all along, or whether he actually grows a backbone. Regardless, it's neat to see him take a starring turn.
The episode is admirably committed to its "human vegetables" concept (the leaders are a broccoli stalk, a squash, and a clove of garlic), to the point that it's kind of hysterically--but appealingly--goofy (my favorite is a zucchini beating a drum as on a galley ship). It's easy for things like this to seem like they're straining for zaniness, but this one feels mostly natural.
My only real objection with the episode--but it's a substantial objection--is this: it flirts with asking questions about the morality of Duckworth's employment (what with the kids calling him a slave and all), but it never has the courage to follow through, instead contenting itself with assuring us that, well, he's not literally a slave, so there's no cause for concern. But that's so trivially true that if it's all you're gonna say, there was no point in bringing it up in the first place. Of course he's not literally forced to work for Scrooge--I mean, fucking duh. If you think this is an important question to address--and I think it is; there's always the somewhat uncomfortable feeling in the comics that, notwithstanding all his "earning it square" talk, he's exploiting his employees as much as he possibly can--you should bloody well address it. Otherwise, don't bother.
Still a good episode, however.
Stray Observations
-Hey, guess what: we're fifty percent of the way through the series! Well, okay, if you want to count the movie, then we actually won't get there until about fifteen minutes into episode forty-seven. But the point is, we've gone through fifty episodes. Kerpow!
-"Don't come back until you've discovered the joy, the enchantment, the sheer ecstasy of making big butts!" Er…yes. It's rarely remarked upon that Ducktales was in fact the inspiration for "Baby Got Back." Tell your friends!
-"And I thought elephants NEVER forgot!" "What's an elephant?" Funny commentary on the idea that just because an alien LOOKS like an earth creature, it would think of itself in the same way as one.
-"There comes a time when one must choose between trusting one's enemy or colliding with a gourdy green planet!" Words to live by.
-"Why don't we go to my quarters and have a chat over some nice, hot onion tea?" How would that not be cannibalism?
-Vacation Van Honk!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Ducktales, Season One, Episode Forty-Four: "Luck o' the Ducks"
Hey, you know how I said in my entry for "Double-O-Duck" that the opening was a good indicator that the episode was gonna be pretty kickass? Well, the opening here has Webby intoning the words "Unca Scrooge! Unca Scrooge! I'm having a few close toys over for a tea party! Wanna come?" Does any more need to be said?
Scrooge has a shipment of Irish linen coming in to sell, which seems a bit picayune to me, but whatever. And…in the shipment there is a leprechaun straight out of a Lucky Charms commercial. Really, Ducktales? That's what you've decided on? Alas, yes, and the result is one of the more horrid episodes in recent memory.
Seriously, I don't want to talk about it, lest I have a fit of vomiting. Scrooge and the kids go to Ireland and Scrooge displays heavy-handed EEEEVIL with his desire to steal the leprechauns' treasure and Webby sprays saccharin all over the place in her interactions with Fardoragh (that's how the closed captioning spells his name, at any rate), and in the end Scrooge learns not to be a dick for the umpteenth time, though in a much clumsier way than usual, and…gah.
This episode was gonna suck no matter what, but the fact that it comes right after the sublime "Double-O-Duck" adds insult to injury. Hey, you assholes--you've just shown what you're able to do when you deign to make an effort, and now you're trying to pass off this half-assed nonsense? Bah!
Stray Observations
-…and that horrible little Irish-ish Jig-ish thing they all do at the end--ugh.
-Okay, one funny line: "I've been robbed of my favorite two hundred dollars and twenty-six cents!"
Scrooge has a shipment of Irish linen coming in to sell, which seems a bit picayune to me, but whatever. And…in the shipment there is a leprechaun straight out of a Lucky Charms commercial. Really, Ducktales? That's what you've decided on? Alas, yes, and the result is one of the more horrid episodes in recent memory.
Seriously, I don't want to talk about it, lest I have a fit of vomiting. Scrooge and the kids go to Ireland and Scrooge displays heavy-handed EEEEVIL with his desire to steal the leprechauns' treasure and Webby sprays saccharin all over the place in her interactions with Fardoragh (that's how the closed captioning spells his name, at any rate), and in the end Scrooge learns not to be a dick for the umpteenth time, though in a much clumsier way than usual, and…gah.
This episode was gonna suck no matter what, but the fact that it comes right after the sublime "Double-O-Duck" adds insult to injury. Hey, you assholes--you've just shown what you're able to do when you deign to make an effort, and now you're trying to pass off this half-assed nonsense? Bah!
Stray Observations
-…and that horrible little Irish-ish Jig-ish thing they all do at the end--ugh.
-Okay, one funny line: "I've been robbed of my favorite two hundred dollars and twenty-six cents!"
Ducktales, Season One, Episode Forty-Three: "Double-0-Duck"
Launchpad, who felicitously resembles an enemy secret agent working for FOWL (Foreign Organization for World Larceny), therefore takes on the task of impersonating him for the Duckburg Intelligence Agency, in order to uncover the villainous Dr. Nogood.
Allow me to confess here, the following: I have never seen a James Bond movie in its entirety. There's no particular reason for this; I just…didn't for a long time, and then it became sort of a "principle," albeit not a particularly serious one (I HAVE played a fair bit of N64 Goldeneye, though). The tropes of the genre are sufficiently familiar that actually being familiar with the source material to "get" parodies thereof is unnecessary, however.
Thing about this episode is, it may well be the best episode yet. The show is really firing on all cylinders here. The elements of Bond-pastiche--international jetsetting, nonsensical spy-inventions by Gyro ("G"), the dangerous femme fatale, the invincible evil sidekick, the heavy with a sinister pet cat--aren't exactly blindingly original, but they're executed with a great deal of panache and energy, and Launchpad proves more than capable of holding his own in a starring turn--his bumbling persistence carries the episode forward with a lot of momentum while not feeling at all rushed--pretty much everything that needs to be covered is covered. It's no wonder this one spawned a spin-off.
Stray Observations
-I find "Foreign Organization for World Larceny" quite hilarious. Darned generic "foreigners!"
-"Feathers Galore" is surprisingly sexually aggressive!
-…and speaking of things you're sort of surprised are able to be depicted in a Ducktales episode, Nogood ends up dying(!) in quite a gruesome fashion.
-Okay, I'll grant you, the ending--in which Launchpad and Feathers are conveniently separated by means of him quoting the ending of Casablanca--is a bit on the clumsy side.
-Really great, nearly wordless introductory sequence in which Bruno (the guy Launchpad's impersonating) evades DIA agents. If the rest of the episode's gonna be that good, you reflect, it's gonna be a damned good episode. And whaddaya know--it is.
Allow me to confess here, the following: I have never seen a James Bond movie in its entirety. There's no particular reason for this; I just…didn't for a long time, and then it became sort of a "principle," albeit not a particularly serious one (I HAVE played a fair bit of N64 Goldeneye, though). The tropes of the genre are sufficiently familiar that actually being familiar with the source material to "get" parodies thereof is unnecessary, however.
Thing about this episode is, it may well be the best episode yet. The show is really firing on all cylinders here. The elements of Bond-pastiche--international jetsetting, nonsensical spy-inventions by Gyro ("G"), the dangerous femme fatale, the invincible evil sidekick, the heavy with a sinister pet cat--aren't exactly blindingly original, but they're executed with a great deal of panache and energy, and Launchpad proves more than capable of holding his own in a starring turn--his bumbling persistence carries the episode forward with a lot of momentum while not feeling at all rushed--pretty much everything that needs to be covered is covered. It's no wonder this one spawned a spin-off.
Stray Observations
-I find "Foreign Organization for World Larceny" quite hilarious. Darned generic "foreigners!"
-"Feathers Galore" is surprisingly sexually aggressive!
-…and speaking of things you're sort of surprised are able to be depicted in a Ducktales episode, Nogood ends up dying(!) in quite a gruesome fashion.
-Okay, I'll grant you, the ending--in which Launchpad and Feathers are conveniently separated by means of him quoting the ending of Casablanca--is a bit on the clumsy side.
-Really great, nearly wordless introductory sequence in which Bruno (the guy Launchpad's impersonating) evades DIA agents. If the rest of the episode's gonna be that good, you reflect, it's gonna be a damned good episode. And whaddaya know--it is.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Ducktales, Season One, Episode Forty-Two: "Scroogerello"
Gripped by a grippe, Scrooge falls asleep as Webby reads him "Cinderella," and has a fever dream in which he takes the lead role in a reverse-gender version of the story with Beagle Boys and Glomgold as the step-people and Goldie as the princess. There's also some dicking around with Goldie captured and Scrooge & Co having to navigate a magic hedge-maze and castle, in order to chew up extra running time.
Yup, the fantasy episode riffing on an old, familiar story--the staple of idea-strapped writers everywhere. To be fair, there were a few things I liked here--well, two, basically: Launchpad as a frog is kinda funny, and I enjoyed Goldie's unexpected second appearance, and more particularly her voice actress.
But beyond that…boy. I found this pretty tedious, I have to tell you. None of the "Ducktales characters as Cinderella characters!" stuff was particularly imaginative or clever or anything. I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna turn out to be the case, but this feels very much like the desperate, last-gasp kind of thing that these sorts of episodes tend to be. Blah.
Stray Observations
-Brief, non-speaking appearance by Ludwig, as one of the guys who gets his head smashed in the food by a Beagle Boy.
-The beatnik Beagle is now some sort of combination beatnik/disco Beagle. Very strange.
-One of the Beagles, on how they got transformed back from nightmarish bull/frog hybrids: "We found an ugly princess who'll kiss anyone on the first date." Dude. Not appropriate.
Yup, the fantasy episode riffing on an old, familiar story--the staple of idea-strapped writers everywhere. To be fair, there were a few things I liked here--well, two, basically: Launchpad as a frog is kinda funny, and I enjoyed Goldie's unexpected second appearance, and more particularly her voice actress.
But beyond that…boy. I found this pretty tedious, I have to tell you. None of the "Ducktales characters as Cinderella characters!" stuff was particularly imaginative or clever or anything. I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna turn out to be the case, but this feels very much like the desperate, last-gasp kind of thing that these sorts of episodes tend to be. Blah.
Stray Observations
-Brief, non-speaking appearance by Ludwig, as one of the guys who gets his head smashed in the food by a Beagle Boy.
-The beatnik Beagle is now some sort of combination beatnik/disco Beagle. Very strange.
-One of the Beagles, on how they got transformed back from nightmarish bull/frog hybrids: "We found an ugly princess who'll kiss anyone on the first date." Dude. Not appropriate.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Ducktales, Season One, Episode Forty-One: "The Right Duck"
Scrooge fires Launchpad for incompetence, though it's not clear why THIS was suddenly the last straw. He tries to go into Duckburg's space program to prove his awesomeness, but actually, the space program people only want him 'cause he sucks as a pilot and they need someone like that to test their new idiot-proof rocket. He gets in the wrong rocket with Doofus and they go to Mars and there are Martians and they get captured and then they escape and they stop the missile meant to destroy Earth and that's it.
The head of the space program, Dr. Von Geezer, is, by his name and his accent, clearly one of those former nazi propulsion engineers who emigrated to the US after the war, where they worked for the government and appeared in Disney TV specials. That's kind of interesting. But that's about all that's interesting. The episode is rushed and jumbled and, really, just plain dumb, from the training sequence where Launchpad is judged to be incompetent even though it's obvious that all of his "failures" are mechanical in nature and not remotely his fault to the really lazy, slapdash depiction of the Martians and their despotic ruler, to--this is probably the worst--Doofus's awful, passive-aggressive whining.
When it seems like the Martians are attacking Earth, there's this incredibly dopey sequence where Scrooge crams all his stuff in closets so they can't take it. That kind of typifies the episode--it was really obviously put together very hastily by people who didn't have any interest in properly characterizing anyone--hence, everyone is just really annoying and dumb. It's amazing how quickly this show can oscillate between really good and plain ol' crap.
Stray Observations
-…and Launchpad submits a childish crayon drawing for his "application." See what I mean? Nobody cared that this made no sense; it was just "Launchpad is dumb, so let's have him do this dumb thing and knock off early."
-Two Martians die offstage. Is this the first time death has occurred in a Ducktales episode?
The head of the space program, Dr. Von Geezer, is, by his name and his accent, clearly one of those former nazi propulsion engineers who emigrated to the US after the war, where they worked for the government and appeared in Disney TV specials. That's kind of interesting. But that's about all that's interesting. The episode is rushed and jumbled and, really, just plain dumb, from the training sequence where Launchpad is judged to be incompetent even though it's obvious that all of his "failures" are mechanical in nature and not remotely his fault to the really lazy, slapdash depiction of the Martians and their despotic ruler, to--this is probably the worst--Doofus's awful, passive-aggressive whining.
When it seems like the Martians are attacking Earth, there's this incredibly dopey sequence where Scrooge crams all his stuff in closets so they can't take it. That kind of typifies the episode--it was really obviously put together very hastily by people who didn't have any interest in properly characterizing anyone--hence, everyone is just really annoying and dumb. It's amazing how quickly this show can oscillate between really good and plain ol' crap.
Stray Observations
-…and Launchpad submits a childish crayon drawing for his "application." See what I mean? Nobody cared that this made no sense; it was just "Launchpad is dumb, so let's have him do this dumb thing and knock off early."
-Two Martians die offstage. Is this the first time death has occurred in a Ducktales episode?
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Ducktales, Season One, Episode Forty: "Raiders of the Lost Harp"
In an opening scene that parodies the opening of The Exorcist, workers uncover the entrance to the ruins of Troy; there, Scrooge and HDL find a whole bunch of treasure, the pièce de resistance being a magic harp that tells when people are lying, which is in a casket held by a giant minotaur statue. They take it and go. Magica (making her first appearance in a while) finds out about it and is filled with harp-lust; meanwhile, the statue comes to life and plods across the ocean to recover the stolen harp.
This is a pretty classy episode, I've gotta tell you. It's packed full of incident--maybe slightly too much so; I can easily see this working as a two-part episode--and the character's reactions to the harp are well-done. It had a decidedly Barksian feel, and the implacability of the statue is genuinely frightening. Magica has never been better, either; she's not interested in the dime here, but that's canonically acceptable, if you recall "Isle of the Golden Geese," and she makes a variety of neat transformations as she pursues the harp. She also has a cool goblin chauffeur and a sweet raven-monster-thing helicopter.
There is one thing that doesn't make sense: Scrooge locks the harp in his desk and tosses the key in his vault for safekeeping, but…for some reason he can open it just as easily with HDL's "skate key?" Wuh? We're supposed to believe that Scrooge is so cavalier about security that he'd have a desk that any key fits? Also: "Bruce Springchicken." Please, no. But these are more or less quibbles. This episode is the first unqualified success the show's seen in a long time.
Stray Observations
-The title is appropriate, given that the Ducktales title-logo is a takeoff of the one from Indiana Jones.
-"Achilles' Golden Chariot." "Hector's Golden Spear." As in any number of videogames, I question what exactly the writers think gold is like, if they imagine it would be useful for weaponry.
-The show has pretty clearly forgotten that Ratface (sorry, "Poe") was originally supposed to be Magica's transformed brother.
HDL, cramming stuff into their closet: "Whose bright idea was it to leave the air mattress inflated?"
-Magica subscribes to something called Tomb Magazine.
-"Beautiful ladies who want to meet me don't need an appointment." It always feels very strange when Scrooge displays romantic and/or sexual interest in women who aren't Goldie.
This is a pretty classy episode, I've gotta tell you. It's packed full of incident--maybe slightly too much so; I can easily see this working as a two-part episode--and the character's reactions to the harp are well-done. It had a decidedly Barksian feel, and the implacability of the statue is genuinely frightening. Magica has never been better, either; she's not interested in the dime here, but that's canonically acceptable, if you recall "Isle of the Golden Geese," and she makes a variety of neat transformations as she pursues the harp. She also has a cool goblin chauffeur and a sweet raven-monster-thing helicopter.
There is one thing that doesn't make sense: Scrooge locks the harp in his desk and tosses the key in his vault for safekeeping, but…for some reason he can open it just as easily with HDL's "skate key?" Wuh? We're supposed to believe that Scrooge is so cavalier about security that he'd have a desk that any key fits? Also: "Bruce Springchicken." Please, no. But these are more or less quibbles. This episode is the first unqualified success the show's seen in a long time.
Stray Observations
-The title is appropriate, given that the Ducktales title-logo is a takeoff of the one from Indiana Jones.
-"Achilles' Golden Chariot." "Hector's Golden Spear." As in any number of videogames, I question what exactly the writers think gold is like, if they imagine it would be useful for weaponry.
-The show has pretty clearly forgotten that Ratface (sorry, "Poe") was originally supposed to be Magica's transformed brother.
HDL, cramming stuff into their closet: "Whose bright idea was it to leave the air mattress inflated?"
-Magica subscribes to something called Tomb Magazine.
-"Beautiful ladies who want to meet me don't need an appointment." It always feels very strange when Scrooge displays romantic and/or sexual interest in women who aren't Goldie.
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