Thursday, August 18, 2011

Ducktales, Season Two, Episode One: "Time Is Money," part one: "Making Time"

Okay! It's a brave new world in Ducktalesland, as demonstrated by the fact that the opening credits have been altered to include scenes of our, uh, new character--why, it's just like he was always there! Very Orwellian.

So the idea is that Scrooge wants to buy an island from Glomgold, 'cause he knows--don't ask any stupid questions, okay? He just KNOWS--that it's lousy with chunks of coal that you can tap very lightly to reveal perfectly cut and polished diamonds. Getting wind of this, Glomgold decides to use the letter of the law to his advantage by blowing the island in half and leaving Scrooge with the lame, stupid, diamond-less half. Eye Eh En Eh El, but I kinda don't think contract law is gonna work even remotely like that, especially when a canny businessman like Scrooge is involved, but WHATEVER. Look, shut up, okay?

So Scrooge comes up with the brilliant idea of going a little ways back in time in a machine of Gyro's to prevent this bad juju from going down (using "bombastium," a reference to Barks' "Cold Bargain" if only in name). But, surprisingly enough, they get transported into the distant past, and then more stuff happens.

Actually, in spite of what the somewhat jaundiced description above might indicate, I didn't REALLY hate this set-up, particularly. I just roll my eyes and let it wash over me, and it gets the job done to send our heroes back in time, I suppose, if a little inelegantly.

So now we're in the past. And now, a nephew-sized caveduck named Bubba, along with his pet triceratops, will join the cast. And that is all. See you next time, folks.

Stray Observations

-Okay okay, I guess I HAVE to say something about this development, though I don't really WANT to. Bubba (voiced, no surprise, by Frank Welker) is an embarrassingly stupid addition to the cast, and admittedly I'm writing this after only seeing him in one episode, but it's extremely difficult for me to imagine him engaging in a cessation of suckage. People are quick to call "Cousin Oliver" on him, but I dunno--the show has ALWAYS been gimmicky, and I don't necessarily object to that on principle. But I DO object to a friggin' caveduck who talks in monosyllables--I mean, this would be okay for a one-episode thing, but to make such an individual into a regular character? Oh, and also, like the Terminator, he learns contemporary catchphrases to spout. Oh to have been a fly on the wall at THAT creative meeting. Preferably a tsetse fly, so I could have given someone malaria.

-Can I take this opportunity to reiterate how much I HATE HATE HATE the Ducktales Beagle Boys? Well, I am, because I'm afraid that if I didn't, you might forget this vital fact about me, and that would be no good at all.

"There aren't any diamonds here--only coal!" WHY NOT JUST GET ELEPHANTS TO STEP ON THEM THAT SEEMS TO DO THE TRICK? Okay, no fair using this entry to mock a previous episode.

-To end on a positive note, I am hoping--and, really, expecting; how could it be otherwise?--that Fenton proves to be a better late cast-addition.


  1. I'm not a big Bubba fan, but can you blame him for talking in monosyllables? It would be way less realistic to have him speaking the Queen's English.

    When I first saw this episode, I thought the same thing about the elephants. So you are not alone there.

    I always wondered, why doesn't Scrooge buy ALL the islands? They're clearly good investments, he can afford them, and it would take away all of Glomgold's suspicions, since Scrooge is buying up the whole set. After all, Scrooge would quickly make all his money back and more.

    And yes, Fenton (and his mother) are much better late cast-additions.

  2. Yeah, it makes sense for him to talk that way (for a cartoon-specific definition of "sense"), but to me, that really just points up the dubiousness of his becoming a cast member at all.