Monday, August 22, 2011

Ducktales, Season Two, Episode Four: "Time Is Money," part four: "Ducks on the Lam"

Man, there's just way too much dumb shit in this episode. First, the Beagles capture Scrooge's money bin (thanks to Bubba's somewhat inexplicable, unspecified help), and plan to cart the money off. I guess I can KIND of believe that the DT Beagles are this dumb (they DO suck compared to the originals, as I may perhaps have noted at some point), though them being that dumb AND still being able to operate Scrooge's security systems like pros seems to be stretching it. But then there's Glomgold's brilliant plan: keep Scrooge out 'til tomorrow so he can't pay me the ten million dollars, and then I'LL own the diamond mine! In comments to the previous post, Christopher noted how this is stupid and makes no sense; it didn't register to me at the time, since it's not really a plot point in the previous episode (is it even mentioned? I refuse to go back and see), but it's true. I would even amplify: this is goddamn stupid and makes no fucking sense. The whole idea was that Scrooge, in the past, marked the territory as his. That was the purpose of that expedition. So why would he have to pay Glomgold anything? He didn't go back in time to somehow force Glomgold to sell. The idiocy is great, and given that the entire episode revolves around this conceit, that's a little problematic.

Also problematic: the idea that Scrooge would be unable to get cash out of any bank because of the Beagles' unbelievably half-assed scheme of calling each bank via video-phone and impersonating Scrooge with Scrooge-portrait with the eye- and arm-holes cut out and telling them that, oh no, there's an IMPOSTOR pretending to be me! Don't give him money! And that not only do the BANKS believe this unequivocally, but so do the cops. This is NOT like the classic "all Disney characters are easily fooled by really obvious disguises." Those are actually disguises. I'm not sure what this is, but it's something much, much dumber. Stupid Ducktales--make more sense!

And then Scrooge is in jail for being an impostor (grrr), only he breaks out with Bubba's help (yes Bubba and Tootsie were ALSO imprisoned, for Comic Mischief, and yes, that's ANOTHER dumb thing that makes no sense), and then when he's trying to set up a trip to this island to get a diamond to pay off Glomgold, OH HOW CONVENIENT, there's Glomgold RIGHT THERE to stop him.

Seriously, this shit is just insulting. Being a kids' show doesn't mean you can just be all half-assed because hey, kids are dumb. Screw you! You're JUST as dumb when you pull things like this!

Stray Observations

-I'll admit, I AM charmed by the fact that the jail had a striped top hat available just for Scrooge. And, I suppose, even more impressed that they had a triceratops costume lying around, even if that doesn't excuse the dumbness of Tootsie being in jail in the first place.

-Hey, a statue of Cornelius Coot! I don't believe the character's been mentioned in Ducktales previously, meaning that this is just for old-school fans, which is appreciated…though not enough so to forgive all the dumbness.

1 comment:

  1. At least the Bubba and Tootsie getting arrested makes sense because they tore up a playground and caused a lot of damage. Or maybe they were arrested because time travel violates the laws of time and space.